And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
