Where is the hickey?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
