Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
