After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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