also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
