I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
