I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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