Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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