And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
