I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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