If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize