She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
