Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
