we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
