I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
