Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
