I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
