That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
