Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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