i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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