she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i drank out of a bidet.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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