so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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