dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it's great music for shaving your balls
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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