Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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