Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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