We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
