Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This baby is an asshole
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
