We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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