I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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