Can i not drive my cunt home
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
