Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
