I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
