theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
