dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
