Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Found the puke drawer
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
