I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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