hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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