Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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