Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
