i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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