I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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