i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dick very happy bro
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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