That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry about my life...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
