he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also, beer. Big fan.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
