He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
