Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
