but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
