Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
