My brain says no but my pants say off.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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