I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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